Jan 11, 2009

I'm sitting here wondering what tomorrow will bring.

I really want to thank everyone for helping me through this tough time and tell you how things are going right now. Cliff"s very confused most of the time. Example, I thought he was all tucked in for the night so I set down to relax and sew on some binding and hear Cliff get up and get dressed. He walks into the living room and says where's my phone, well it's right there beside your chair. He sits down and says what time is it. I said 10:30, why, where you going, knowing he can't drive. He said don't I have to go to work. I said Cliff, you retired about 5 years ago, and haven't worked since. He said, well what do I need to do then. I said well you probably need to lay down since you have dialysis in the morning, but I'm going to check your sugar and give you your night shot. He said okay, where's my wallet. So, I'm thinking his sugar has got to be high or low, so I do my check and it in good range, but I fix him his snack he has to have at night so his sugar don't drop too low. Amazingly he ate the whole sandwich and all his fruit. I have had the hardest time getting him to eat all day. I cooked him a nice breakfast, and I grilled him some fish for supper and all he had was maybe 2 bites. But when I fix him a sandwich he devours it, go figure! I'm starting to feel a bit confused myself!! I'm not sure Cliff will fully recover from this last episode but I love him just the same. He was always a quiet man, but he seems to do a lot more talking now, even if it doesn't make sense sometimes, I enjoy it anyway. I'm glad he's able to get in and out of the tub, that was the difficult part for me. I do have to keep a close eye on him, because today things seemed to be going pretty well and he was sleeping. So I went to my sewing room to do some quilting on a mini. When I came out he was up and sitting in his chair. So I got supper ready and I always give him his meds at that time. Since he has so many meds and has to take some once a day and some twice I get up in the mornings and set them all up and put them in ziplocks marked morning and night. Well, Cliff had already took his night meds and I still don't know when or how, I just wonder if that don't explain his confusion. Now, I can't help wonder how in the world he got hold of the bag, I had it put up. I'm concerned he might just decide to get up one day and go somewhere, no knowing where he's going. Not to mention that he's not been able to drive for several months now. I sure was glad I was up tonight or I guess he'd been off working somewhere. All and all, I have to say it was a good day, after all we're still here. I did make a mess of the mini with the SID quilting though. I'd show it but I'm a bit embarrassed about it. Maybe in the next few days when I can laugh about it I'll give you a look.


  1. Well, Sweetie, you are going through a rough time. I hope Cliff feels better, very soon. And I hope you take care of yourself. Don't wear yourself out. You sound like you have a great attitude. Cheap checking in and let us know how you and Cliff are doing.

    All the best,


  2. Dear Donna,
    Good to hear from you. Keeping you and Cliff in my thoughts and prayers. Keep taking care of yourself so you can take care of Cliff.

    Glad you have had a little sewing time.

    Take care.

  3. Donna, when my DDIL had a mental breakdown she hitch hiked from Idaho to my house in Lancaster,Pa. She was my foster child so my house was home to her.

    After being missing for days, I went out to feed the birds and found her sitting in the yard!

    Most recently they have come up with devices to track people. She wears one all the time.

    It might be the thing to get. With DDIL it is attached to the back of her cloths so she can't take it off.

  4. Donna, so glad to hear from you. Hang in there, hopefully Cliff will improve each day. I am praying for you and Cliff. I guess you better hide the meds and car keys, just in case. I do hope you are taking care of yourself too. AND make sure you do take some time for just you. That is what will get you through this trying time.
    If there is anything you need, let me know.

  5. Donna, lots of our thoughts and prayers for both you and Cliff to get through the days ahead. You are a strong woman and with your attitude I know you will be fine.

    I'm not sure if you've ever heard of "Story People" by Brian Andreas - he is one of my all time favorites. I just read something that I thought would suit you...

    "There are days I drop words of comfort on myself like falling leaves & remember that it is enough to be taken care of by my self".

    Please be good to yourself too.

  6. As a caregiver, you have a difficult role. I'm sure it's a role you're willing to take on, but remember that all caregivers need time off occasionally. Take care of yourself as well as you take care of Cliff.

    No pearls of wisdom here, but please continue to keep us posted. Oh, and Holee's idea is an excellent one.

  7. Just wanted to check in on you and Cliff.
    Keeping you in our thoughts.
    ~ Jessica

  8. Sorry to read your DH has not been not well. I pray and hope for better days for him and to give you the strength to cope with his illness.
    Hugs, Jossie

  9. Always remember that there are entire armies of quilting and crafting bloggers out here in the real world that stop by, read your story and have our hearts just opened right up to you and yours. We've all gone through similar things. We know just how agonizingly hard some days are and we send you our love, our support and our prayers..every single day! It is hard..very, very hard. But you are an amazing woman. You are good, and strong, and you are kind. And you have a big heart full of love for this man and you will find your way with this and through this. hugs from Oregon, Michele

  10. P.S. Ask your dr. to check and see if Cliff might have had a mini stroke. There is a name with three initials for that and the symptoms are so similar to what he is experiencing. We will all be checking back on you and Cliff and we are all sending huge comforting hugs through the airwaves!!!


Thank you for your thoughts